Thoughts of a Blog Queen: Holding a Grudge

Let’s be honest holding a grudge is easy to do…. really easy to do, but when we hold a grudge it’s not truly affecting anyone but ourselves.

When you find yourself in a place of anger and frustration, there is really no other point of view that matters. When you feel deep down that you are right about something, it’s like there is no letting go of that. You want nothing more than for the other person to see the err in their ways and make the adjustment. Even when you agree to disagree, something inside of you still harbors a feeling of resentment.

That’s a pesky little thing called pride.

When you are holding a grudge against someone, somewhere the communication fell off and your mind has decided that if they can’t see things your way and reason with you in the manner that YOU think is right, then there is no way you can let go of the frustration. Well I’m here to tell you, that is like holding yourself hostage in a place with the key to unlock the door in your very own hand. Pointless right?

The truth is that everything is not going to go your way. People are not going to always react the way you want them to react, feel the way you want them to feel, or respond to you the way you need them to. That’s life.

Even if you know in your heart of hearts that you are right. You have to communicate the issue and then you have to let it go. Time is way too precious to keep energy that is weighing down on you, take over your mind. The time that you are allowing to be upset and frustrated is time that you are stealing away from your own peace of mind.

I can remember someone very close to me and myself arguing, we constantly got into this same argument over the same thing. We just couldn’t see eye to eye but the way he handled it was to just apologize, agree to disagree and move on…. and then he proceeded to go on to suggest we do regular things, like quality time things…..huh? Excuse me? How dare he attempt to move on past this pivotal moment in life we are having and just…. let it go!?

But you see that was because his skills at letting go and not holding a grudge were way more advanced than mines. He doesn’t allow things of minor value hinder his attitude or his day. That’s called maturity and growth.

Now I’m not saying that all people that hold a grudge are immature but they definitely have an area of their growth process they need to work on because at the end of the day, it is the person holding on to a grudge that loses the sleep sometimes. They hold inner frustrations, and they just overall waste time by being upset about something that a lot of times the other person isn’t even thinking about, or isn’t allowing it to take away from their day.

Or what if someone you loved hurt you..deeply. That’s really one of the hardest things to just let go. It cuts deep and that hurt gets carried with you every where you go, but what you don’t realize is that this is going to affect not only you but now any new person you allow into your life. You have to find a way to release that grudge. Learn from the hurt and move forward.

People underestimate the power of self help resources and tools, but if you can find something to pour those feelings into like reading, journaling, prayer, meditation, or maybe even yoga; you will find that the more you are able to clear your heart and mind the easier it will be to stop holding on to that grudge, because that’s the problem..it’s stuck in your mind with no escape route.

I’m not saying that you have to forget something that someone did wrong or lower your standards at the cost of someone else, but I am saying that if you want to get everything out of life that you are entitled to like inner peace, peace of mind, and peaceful living…you will stop holding on to the very things trying to disturb them.

Just my thoughts….

Thoughts of a Blog Queen.