The world was crushed and taken by surprise when we learned of the death of Ermias Joseph Asghedom, known professionally as “Nipsey Hussle.”
He was a rapper, songwriter, entrepreneur, and community activist from Los Angeles, California who was recently taken from his family by way of murder.
While I respect this man for what he accomplished and what his overall goal and movement in society represented, this blog is to highlight what social media has been trending like crazy lately.
His long time girlfriend and mother of one of his children, actress Lauren London made a statement about him..she referred to him as her “sanctuary”.
Wow.
When you think about the meaning behind that and what she must have felt for him, the depth of this comparison is really heart warming.
Let’s break down the meaning of sanctuary first and foremost.
sanc·tu·ar·y
/ˈsaNGk(t)SHəˌwerē/
noun
a place of refuge or safety.
Read that definition again. While someone like myself has always referred to my master bedroom as my sanctuary, this woman utilized this word to describe the man she was in love with.
How strong of a feeling that has to be right.. yet I feel like as women THAT is exactly what we need and what we should aspire to have in the relationship with the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with.
As a woman in love we want to feel like we are protected, secured, respected, and complete.
Let’s break this down a little further. “Refuge or safety.”
ref·uge
/ˈrefˌyo͞oj,ˈrefˌyo͞oZH/
noun
When I think of a refuge I think of a place to get away. A place that is protected from harm. Some place that is secure. So in every sense YES, should that man that you say you love make you feel this way. Being in his company should make you feel safe and secure.
Laying in bed with him at night should be peaceful. There should be no worries of harm to come your way. Your state of sleep next to him should be serene.
Is that so much to ask?
Not at all, and if you are a man reading this blog understand this: being a woman’s sanctuary isn’t something that you can just label yourself as. It’s a feeling you have to give your woman. It’s a significant title that she will have to reference you as because of what you provide for her on an emotional level and I believe now going forward we will hear a lot more of this word play. (You can thank Lauren London for that…LOL)
Seriously though, when she knows, she knows and you will know because of the energy she will give back to you.
I believe that the bare minimum a man should be able to provide for you are those things that don’t cost anything except for the effort on his part that it will take to give you this feeling openly, willingly, and sincerely.
A sanctuary is a sacred place, as should your relationship be. If the world I’m facing as a woman in 2019 gives me fear, doubt, uncertainty, unfairness, discrimination, and potential unexpected harm…my relationship with the man I love should not.
So why was this trending on social media so heavily?
Aside from who it was said by and the unfortunate loss of her love, Lauren London said what so many women have been thinking but may have had a hard time putting into one word, and “sanctuary” completely summed it up for so many of us.
For so long women have been searching for ways to describe what we see and feel as what the perfect relationship for us would be, and though sad under the circumstances, I think Lauren London gave women a voice for what love is defined purely and in the most simplistic way.
So what I want my fellow women to take from this blog, and to take from this statement made by Lauren London is this….
Loving someone should be easy. That’s not the hard part, the relationship may be tough at times but loving someone and someone truly loving you should come naturally.
Loving a man as your sanctuary means HE is your place of peace, your place of refuge when you need to escape the world. He should be your smile and your heart’s joy. He should not hurt you. He should not make you ever feel hate, and what he provides to you should be something you have never felt before. With him you can be yourself . Open and honest, completely free of judgment, and safe. That’s how I believe you know it’s the one.
Too often we sacrifice our own feelings to be with a person that doesn’t satisfy our needs and I believe that takes away from our life’s purpose because when you are wasting your energy and your time in a space you don’t need to be, you take away from the time you have destined to be on this planet, and if that sounds dramatic it’s because it is and I want you take it serious.
Your life is a beautiful and long journey, a journey that you will from time to time need a resting place and when you find this resting place of your journey or the “sanctuary” within a man …love will feel pure with him and life will feel a little easier to take on with the strength within him he can use to fuel your way when you feel weak.
While we all will have our own definition of what love is, what it looks like, and what it feels like, I think that the feeling of having a relationship with a person that feels like a sanctuary should be a universal comparison.
By no means do I think that Lauren and Ermias had the “perfect relationship”, but it was perfect for them. It was perfect for her… and in your quest for love should you find your place of refuge and safety, I hope that you recognize it the minute you enter it.
Until next time….
Peace and Blessings…..
La’Ray Renee
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