The Evolution of a Mother.

affection baby barefoot blur
Photo by Pixabay on

From the very moment you become a changes.  Your world suddenly revolves around this other human being that you have this almost indescribable love and care for and life as you know it has become a 24/7 job.

Can we be honest with one another here?  While being a mother is a beautiful thing, let’s face’s not always teddy bears and rainbows right?

There will be long nights with what seems like endless crying, sleep deprivation, body changes ( for you), temper tantrums…BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS…..and that’s just all in the first 2 years!

Well I told you I wanted to be honest lol!

However, on a more positive note motherhood is an amazing way to discover who you are in the present, and who you strive to become for you future.

When I became a mother I was 20 years old.  So I was still a teenager (19) when I actually got pregnant and the evolution of me as a woman AND as a mother has been nothing short of amazing. Was it hard, absolutely. It honestly still is and in my personal opinion though the care for them as they get older gets easier, the “mothering” sometimes seems to get harder.

Being a young mother I was still trying to figure out my own life and here I was now responsible for the shaping of another. So essentially I had to grow up with my kid.  In the first few years I was still at a point in my life where I knew eventually I was going to have to do something of importance with myself but I still had the security of my child’s father still around and that made me prolong that “eventual reality” for lack of  better words.

It was when I had to face single motherhood head on that I knew life for me was about to get REAL and I have to figure something out quick because this kid of mine is only getting older and… what’s he going to tell his own kids one day about grandma?

So to put my life in a nutshell and get to the part where I want to speak directly to new mothers; I eventually went to college earned a four year degree; landed a nice stable job ( actually worked two of them at the same time for about 2 years) bought my first home, and raised the most intelligent, well mannered, young respectable man who is now approaching his junior year in high school…and I did everything for the betterment of him..for US.

So I’m sure you can imagine the journey this has been. It was scary. It was stressful at times, I had good moments and I had some that seemed bad. I had to learn one of the greatest lessons of motherhood: sacrifice.

tilt shift lens photography of woman wearing red sweater and white skirt while holding a boy wearing white and black crew neck shirt and blue denim short
Photo by Nicholas Githiri on

When you become a new mother you are trading in a lot of your own time and needs to put the needs of a child first and you do it unselfishly, and without question.

Something you need to know…

Ironically-you will not know everything. You will not be this picture perfect mother from start to finish and that’s okay.  You will eventually grow into the mother your child needs and what’s so amazing is that it is something that is not really taught rather it is something that spiritually and emotionally grows inside of you.

Sure there are parenting classes and of course all the things we learned from our mothers and guardians, but the special piece of being a mother, the part that is built from your love… that is what you build from.

A mother’s love is built from strength and courage. It is built from the look of innocence in your child’s eyes as you try your best to protect them from all of life’s hardships and craziness.

When you become a new mother you have to figure out how to just make it work sometimes and that in itself can be easier to say than do because you always want the best for them.

You literally have to become this superwoman and we do that from the ground up because at some point we are all new, first time mommies but the way we grow into this role of knowing what’s best, knowing just what they need, and just how to care for them is astonishing. It becomes a sixth sense.

So for all my new mothers or soon to be new mothers reading this, I wanted to send words of encouragement and advice….I want you to understand that if at times it seems overwhelming, it’s okay to ask for help. If you have a support system behind you, use it. Don’t be ashamed to say “I got this..but I could use a little help.”

If you don’t really have a support system, find one. There are so many resources available to new mothers, young mothers, etc. and even if you are doing this thing alone just know that your are ABLE. You were destined to be a mother and your new journey is going to come with so many beautiful and loving moments that it almost seems to fade the bad times away into mere stumbles.

As I wrap up my mother’s day 2019 I end my night reading the words (for the 7th time TODAY) in the homemade card my son after 16 years still gives me..which he knows is my absolute favorite thing ever…and I think about how far we have come. As a team, he and I have done this thing called life and God willing we will have many, many more years left to continue to evolve into the best versions of ourselves we can be and I can only hope that he will pour into his children the same amount of love and care that I have poured into him.

For you reading this let this be confirmation that everything is going to be okay. You are going to be the light in your child’s life and nothing will compare to you.

So here’s to motherhood as we imagined we grew to know it..and how in the eyes of our children…we have mastered it.

Happy Mother’s Day…..

Until next time…

Peace and Blessings

La’Ray Renee