“On Cloud Nine”- How To Get Your Happy Back

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Okay so first breathe….

Chances are if you feel as though you have “lost your happy” you are carrying a lot of tension inside of you that I’m telling you right now is dying to be released.

Your body, though it carries it, is not meant to hold all that negative energy within. I’m not sure that many people realize  that the more stress, tension, anxiety, and hurt you hold within, not only is there distress on your mental and emotional state but you could physically be stressing your body out as well.

So in order to get this happy back, we must first go back to the time when we realized it was lost. What happened? What circumstances unfolded in your life that made you feel as though you were no longer capable of carrying such a necessary emotion?

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Yes, happiness is necessary. With it, you are more likely to live a more fulfilling day to day life.

So again, go back to the time when you realized that you were losing the feeling.  Did you go through something traumatic? Was there heartbreak involved?

Could it be relationship issues? Are you involved with someone that just no longer makes you happy? Has the relationship been in a constant whirlwind of negative emotions? Arguments all the time, lack of communication, frustration?

What about work? Could that be what’s draining your energy? Do you feel stuck or underpaid and overworked? Has there been major change that you have been having a hard time adjusting to?

Here’s another one..family.  Family can often be the source of a person’s psyche being stirred with negative vibes as well, and the thing about that is that sometimes it’s not easy to just avoid family. In fact, in some circumstances it’s not going to be easy for any of those reasons.  I mean you have to go to work to earn a living right?  That relationship, maybe it’s a marriage so just walking away is not really an option or even if it’s not a marriage maybe it’s a serious committed relationship that is facing a phase where the two of you are being tested.

The thing is for as long as we are walking this Earth and doing this thing called life, there will be many different factors that we are faced with that threaten our peace of mind and steal away from our happiness.

What’s important for you to know is that you are certainly capable of retrieving it back. Will it be as simple as waking up one day and saying “okay I’m happy now”..no, most likely not, but if you treat this process as though it is just as important as any other priority in your life, it may be just a little bit easier.

So let’s get to it. How exactly do we get that happy back?

You have to first claim it.

Claim that the happiness you desire is yours and you WILL gain it back.  When you start thinking like the person you want to be, the transformation may come to you a little easier.

Next, you have to release the things that you have no control over at this point.  Holding on to something that you can’t change is like holding yourself hostage. You have the power to let this and yourself go.

Going back to the source…mentally.

Going to the source of what you feel has depleted you is like facing the monster under the bed..except the monster under the bed is not really there but this thing is. However, if you treat it as though it is non-existent you may be able to help yourself get through this with less anxiety in doing so.  Now I understand that, this step in the process may not always be the physical option, Meaning you may not be able to go to that ex and confront them or you may not be in a position to just go to your boss and say, “John, I’m unhappy.”  So if physically taking yourself to this source is clearly not the option then you improvise. Go to that source in your mind. Go to the source in your journal if necessary.  Face it- and verbally express out loud or simply sit in silence and think about all the reasons why it has made you unhappy.

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You have to release those things and realize that you no longer HAVE to carry them if you choose not to. I posted a quote recently that said “ Stress is choice, so is peace.”

Choose peace. Choose happiness. Choose you.

Gaining full access to your happiness will require that you fully understand that you have reached a low point in your emotions and that life is easier to handle when you are above this low point.  Your motivation for living life at it’s best has to be greater than that of living it at what often feels like it’s worst.

Realizing the power of the mind.

If you want to be happy then tell yourself you will accept nothing less than. Pull yourself out of that space and wake up everyday with intention.  Intention to be stronger than the sadness, stronger than the anger, or stronger than the hurt.

Busy yourself. 

Instead of sitting in those moments of despair and frustration, busy yourself with more of the things that make you do nothing but smile.  Change up your old routine and start a new one. Unlink yourself from the things that take you to that dark place and fill your life with more INTENTIONAL joy.  Whatever this looks like for you begin to incorporate that into your daily life. Whether it’s building and blocking out more time for self care or “me time”, or spending more time with close friends and family be intentional about the experience you are preparing for and vow to yourself that you will NOT under any circumstances spend time focusing on what has been bringing you down.

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Facing it. 

Whatever it is that you must face in this process just understand that this will be exactly what you make of it. In terms of work, we have to realize that work is work, and that is where it should stay. Don’t bring that energy into your home with you when you clock out. Leave it there. Your home is your sanctuary and this is where you spend your most intimate time so why would we want to bring anything IN that interferes with the peace that it should be intended for. This means don’t go home and talk about work if it was bad. Instead, talk about what turned out positive for you that day. Or talk about what would make you feel the happiest now that you’re off work.  Again, improvise.

Taking your home back.

In your relationships, if this is something that you know you must work at, something that you know is worth it, then focus on that.  Yes you must face your issues but the two of you can agree that this will be something that you WILL get through no matter what.  Find the common ground. Change the scenery. If possible go somewhere else where the two of you can talk in peace at level heads, even if its just outside in the car, and promise each other that once you step foot back into your home ( or separate homes) you will leave the issue there even if it hasn’t been fully resolved.

Go to sleep on a lighter note and then try again tomorrow.

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The point of all of this again is to be intentional about what you want..which is to gain your happy back. Stop allowing the turmoil to take over your life and stop claiming these feelings of depression and anxiety when someone asks how you feel. You WILL be what you speak.

So the next time someone asks how you are doing, speak exactly what you desire to be…and the next time you feel yourself getting worked up about something that you realize you can’t change, avoid that feeling.

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Do more of the things that promote the happiness you desire and always choose you first.

Remember that.

Until Next Time,

Peace & Blessings

La’Ray Renee