Relationships: How Do You Know When It’s Something Good For You?

Love and relationships.

One of the most complicated things to acquire, maintain, and succeed in on Earth,

I feel like we need love and relationships because at the end of the day who really wants to be alone?   Not that being single is a terrible thing because we also need our single season to work on ourselves to prepare us FOR a meaningful relationship. We need love because it provides us with different experiences and when you meet someone that you are really attracted to on all levels and decide to pursue a relationship, if that relationship allows you to connect on deeper levels, it can be one of the greatest feelings in the world.

So how do you know when it’s a good thing?

  How do you know when you have found someone that is right for you?   In my opinion it becomes this feeling of comfort.  This feeling of being able to completely be yourself with this person and not feel like you are being judged.  There is a feeling of happiness when you are around that person and that happiness is uncontrollable.

We are going to come into contact with many people that are wrong and we wonder when and how we can just master the concept of knowing before it even begins and not wasting that time right?  In a perfect world, we would have “x-ray” vision that could tell us immediately “nope this person isn’t the one!”

Unfortunately, that is not the case.  In fact you can spend years with someone and they still end up being the wrong one.  I feel like you grow to know that someone is right for you by how you communicate with one another.  Is it easy to talk to him/her?  Are you able to openly express how you are feeling at any given moment and feel confident that they will understand you?  Or even if they don’t initially understand you, are you able to try your best to effectively help them understand? What is it about them that you really like?  When you know that someone is physically your type does that automatically mean they are right?  No it means that you are attracted to what you see, but that does not any means confirm that this is “thee” one.

Knowing that someone is right for you means that you see the potential in them.  You see them as a good fit for you and your life and whatever other factors may be included in your life as well, such as your children.

When you have kids, you are not only thinking about yourself you have to think about them as well.  Going into a situation not looking for anything serious is one thing, but at a certain age if you have kids, and marriage is a goal of yours, you should be looking at how they will have an impact on your children.  Ladies, will he be a role model for your son?  Do you see things in him that you would want your son to display?  If you have daughters, how does he treat YOU? Is he respectful?  This is just one of the many aspects to consider when you are trying to decide if someone is right for you.

What types of things do you have in common?  I’m not saying that you have to like all of the same things, but how can you bond?  On what level can the two of you connect through something that you both love, and how willing are you both to try new things with one another?

Knowing someone is good for you is also a feeling of relief.  You feel relieved to finally have this person in your life.  They don’t feel like a burden.  They have the ability to make you smile, encourage you, pray for you, pray with you, and they are one of the best parts of your day. You actually look forward to seeing them and you miss them when their away.

Another important piece of knowing someone is right for you is if they align with your own personal wants and needs.  Is this person giving you what you want?  That doesn’t necessarily mean in materialistic ways, but in the ways that will make you want to stick around.  If chivalry is important to you as a woman, does he display that?  If ambition is a strong force within yourself, is he as equally driven?

If you are a single father raising your kids, is she a nurturing woman?  If you are looking for a strong independent woman, does she display this trait as well?

A good relationship is a matter of being with this person and wanting nothing more than to continue to develop a deeper connection on all levels.  You are willing to invest one of your most expensive assets in this person and that is your feelings and they do the same. Then, once you have invested these feelings into this person, you see that they value your feelings and that they know the consequences and cost of damaging them and losing your love.  So because of this they do everything they can to maintain the relationship and you do the same.

 Real love can be one of the most beautiful things in the world to experience when it is genuine and held at it’s most highest potential.  Something about being in a good solid relationship, makes you want to do better and be better.  You want to reach certain heights and you want to achieve certain goals because you know that it would benefit the BOTH of you.  You look into the future and you can see them in it.

Finding that right person can include so many different things that a list could go on and on, but one of the most significant signs of something real is that sometimes, even though it may be hard for you to explain it…you just know.

And that is a blessing.