As if we hadn’t used the word “toxic” enough in 2019, the fact remains that this word represents many of the situations and relationships with people that we knowingly choose to stay connected to.
Toxic is defined as poisonous and poisonous is defined as something that is capable of death or illness if taken into the body.
So what does that have to do with relationships? It’s the ones that we are allowing into our mental and emotional spaces..and even physically, that are doing more negative than positive that we consider to be toxic. They are emotionally killing us, poisoning our mental states, and draining us of our happiness.
Toxic relationships are those attachments to people that are doing several things to us personally such as:
Preventing us from growing as individuals.
Leaving our energy unbalanced.
Leaving us in unstable circumstances.
Taking up space in our lives with no meaningful imprint.
The list could go on but there are some specific things that may be happening in the relationship that will let you know that it in fact is a toxic situation.
Here’s a breakdown:
You speak negatively towards each other or are being spoken to negatively in ways that are aimed to hurt.
The EFFECTIVE communication is non-existent.
Happiness is rare.
You are involved in a situation that is taking your kindness for weakness.
You look forward to more time alone than together.
There is no partnership.
There is more arguing than there is peace. More bad days than good.
There is lies, manipulation, and cheating.
Any form of abuse including mental, emotional, or physical.
You or they are only around out of comfort or stability.
You hurt each other more than help each other.
Jealousy and insecurity are fully present.
Constant bickering and arguing.
One or both of you have tempers that reach boiling points.
Conflict resolution is non-existent, instead you just “let it pass”.
The relationship is treated more like a possession rather than a safe space.
If you went through this list and you identify with any of these( or multiple ones), this may be a situation that needs major work and focus, but also remember that not all toxic relationships are worth saving and sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself and the other person is to remove the relationship from your life.
Taking the meaning of self care and truly embracing it means that you broadly look at all aspects of your life that are depleting you of positive energy and re-evaluating how they will continue to have an affect on you. Comfort isn’t always comforting, and recognizing the toxicity in your life should become a skill set that you master.
So yes, many people want to do away with the use of the word, but many of us are not doing away with the toxic situations that we live in. As you continue to take each day of your life living in your routines, working your jobs, building your businesses, and taking yourself to new levels, be mindful that anything that you take to this new level that is dead weight will only hold you back. Always choose to flourish first, and never settle.
Until Next Time,
Peace & Blessings
La’Ray Renee
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