How are you feeling? When is the last time you asked yourself this question? More importantly were you honest with yourself when you answered.
Somewhere in history we were made to be these vessels of indefinite support to anyone in our lives that needed it and because of this we often force ourselves to bend, flex, and adjust the very core of our minds, our bodies, and our souls in order to be strong and carry the many loads of life’s “dirty laundry”.
By this I mean no matter what we do we are always going to be looked at as the sorter, the washer, the dryer, the folder..and the ultimate keeper and storage of all of the things we already worked so hard to maintain to begin with.
We convince ourselves so often that it is our job to take care of everything and just handle it that we forget how to take care of ourselves.
On this Wisdom Wednesday, I offer this gem..it’s okay to not be strong. You are strong enough to not be strong enough Sis.
This means that it is okay to not be able to maintain it all together sometimes. It is okay to ask for help. It is okay to decide not to be the go-to. It is okay for you to say no.
Being strong holds many different meanings to different women but what we have to always remember is that we have to be strong for ourselves first. Your strength isn’t proven by how many times you come to someone’s rescue or by how much crap you take from a person over and over again to prove you are “down for them”…your strength comes from the ability to see when you’re doing too much. When enough is enough. Your strength comes from your mental stability. If you burn yourself out catering to everyone else all of the time… what will you leave for yourself?
When you have exerted all you have in you to fuel the needs of someone else you are then left on empty. Leaving yourself with little to no motivation for your own life which includes sacrificing your own goals and dreams or leaving yourself with the bare minimum to work with.
Being strong is recognizing when you’ve been strong for too long. When you understand that you are still despite this “S” society placed on your chest..you are still only human.
When you can come to the realization that life has to be less about being the strong Black woman all the time and more about simply being a woman, you will begin to embody and embrace the core of your femininity. You are more than just the launderer of your world. You are a woman.
A woman with needs of her own. A woman with limits.
I offer this wisdom today to encourage the woman reading this to lay down her armor. Surrender your spirit to yourself and turn that machine that constantly moves you OFF for a moment.
I’m not saying that you have to weaken yourself by any means but for once would it really be so bad to do that? To weaken your frame. To soften your core. To lessen your burdens and just… be.
Take time to routinely do a self check in the mirror and ask the woman you see looking back at you…”what are you taking on now that you don’t have to?”
Be confident in knowing that you don’t have to prove your strength to anyone but yourself and know that it is because of that strength that you have always had, that you are always going to bounce back like never before.
So rest easy Sis.
Until next time Lovelies,
Peace & Blessings