Thoughts of a Blog Queen: What’s It Like To Date You?

A Journey into Self-Discovery and How Others May Be Experiencing You

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself: What’s it like to date me?

Not in a self-critical, overthinking spiral—but in a curious, empowered, reflective way.

Too often, we focus on who the other person is—their red flags, their communication style, their emotional availability. But rarely do we turn the mirror inward. Understanding how others experience us in relationships can be one of the most powerful tools in self-growth and love.

The Mirror Moment

Self-discovery starts with curiosity, not judgment. Ask yourself:

What energy do I bring into a relationship? How do I show up when I’m hurt, excited, scared, or in love? Do I allow space for the other person to be seen—or do I protect myself so much that vulnerability never has a chance?

It’s not about finding flaws. It’s about finding patterns.

Are you the over-nurturer? The ghoster when things get too real? The fixer? The independent woman who never asks for help—but secretly wants someone to show up anyway? (I may or may not be talking about myself with that last one)

The Lens of Others

We can’t fully control how others perceive us—but we can be aware of how we come across. Things like our communication style, our tone, or how we are receptive to another perspective.

Your energy introduces you before your words do. The way you communicate, your boundaries, your silence, your affection—it all sends a message.

So, reflect on past relationships and ask yourself this: What do my past partners consistently say about dating me?

Are you seen as distant? Too intense? Too independent? Or maybe loving, supportive, and a safe space? It’s just as important to acknowledge the positive words of affirmation you have received from others just as much as you assess the seemingly negative ones.

Whatever it is, don’t internalize it as gospel—but don’t dismiss it either. It might be pointing to a deeper truth you’ve outgrown or a part of yourself that’s craving healing.

Embracing the Real You

Self-awareness is sexy. Emotional intelligence is attractive . And self-love is my non-negotiable.

When you know who you are and how you show up in love, you stop dating to fill a void—and start connecting from a place of fullness. You stop performing and start relating.

You become less attached to whether someone chooses you, and more devoted to choosing yourself—daily, fiercely, unapologetically.

Once you have become intentional about the way you show up for and love yourself this is when you will begin to attract more like energy into your life.

Because here’s the truth: The better you know yourself, the better you love. And the better you love, the more likely you are to attract someone who sees, values, and honors the real you and the capacity you carry to pour into the relationship.

Working to get to know yourself more is beneficial for any potential relationship, all while still being mindful of those individuals that merely want to “experience” having you but don’t have long term or serious intentions. Stay guarded from those people yes , but also try to stay open enough to allow what is for you to come in.

So that wall that you have up…I’m not telling you to just completely tear it down, but I am saying to maybe extend a ladder that someone can climb to get over it and make the journey with you feel possible.

Call to Action

Take a moment today to journal:

What’s it like to date me? What type of person am I?

Be honest. Be gentle. Be curious.

You might be surprised by what you discover—and how powerful that knowledge becomes in your next relationship.

You can start this discovery by being intentional about actually dating yourself because how else will you know?

You can check out my blog link here on Solo Dating for a little inspiration.

Seeing and identifying the growth in yourself and how you evolve and handle your relationships in whatever capacity you may need to is a powerful gift of self awareness and I truly believe that going into your Solo Season is so helpful while trying to do this because it gives you an intentional period of time to introspect.

So here’s to looking deep within, to growing, learning and unlearning and to truly being able to see how we are showing up for ourselves and for others.

**If you want to check some of my Self Care, Things I’m Into Right Now, and so many more of my specialty shopping lists in my Amazon Storefront you can click Here

Until next time…

Blog Queen